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1.
瞌睡者     
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man snoring in the front preacher determined not to sleep during whisper, he asked who want to go was row one Sunday, the he would teach him the sermon. So, in a the congregation. "All to heaven, please rise."  相似文献   

2.
幽默与笑话     
《英语沙龙》2011,(1):60-61
Punishment for Missing Church A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.  相似文献   

3.
轻松一刻     
The old preacher was dying, so he sent for a lawyer and an IRS agent from hiscongregation. The lawyer and the agent were puzzied, since neither had been a c1osefriend to the preacher.  相似文献   

4.
JOKES     
Dam Fish There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.He was saying,"Dam fish for sale,dam fish for sale." A preacher (说教者) walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.The kid said," I caught them at the dam (水闸),so they're dam fish." The preacher bought some,took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.His wife looked at him in bewilderment (迷惑) and said,"Preachers arent't supposed (不应该) to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish,and she agreed to cook them.  相似文献   

5.
Ted worked in a factory in a big town. He liked fishing very much, and was very good at it.Whenever he was free. he wouht go down to the small river behind the factory, and tried to catchsome fish, but there were very few there, because the water was dirty. Last summer he went to the seaside during his holidays and stayed at a small cheap hotel.  相似文献   

6.
圣人与诗人     
Last year my father left his hearing aid in the hotel section of my yellow pages and I forgot to send it back to him for about two months, during which tune he kept his hand cupped perpetually around his good ear and shouted, "What's that?" every time he saw someone's mouth moving. Reminds me of a story our preacher told about an old gal who lived in New Hampshire. One day she plucked the hearing aid from her ear and threw it in the trash. "I'm ninety four years old and I've heard enough," she said.  相似文献   

7.
When Pastor Ovall picked up the phone,Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the line.“Hello,Pastor Ovall?”“Yes,this is.”“I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation,a Dr.Shipe.Do you recognize the name?”“Yes,he is a member of our congregation.How can I be of service?”  相似文献   

8.
The traditional holidays in our house when I was a child were spent timing elaborate (精致的) meals around football games. My father tried to make pleasant chitchal(聊天) and eat as much as he could during half time. At Christmas he found time to have a cup or two of holiday cheer and don (戴上) his holly-shaped (形冬青叶状的) bow tie. But he didn't truly shine until Valentine's Day. I don't know whether it was because work at the office slowed during February or because the football season was over. But Valentine' s Day was the time my father chose to show his love for the special people in  相似文献   

9.
Newton Was born on Christmas Day,1642,in a littlevillage in the east of England.His father,a farmer,diedbefore he was born;his mother was a woman of intelli-gence and character. Newton’S school days were not remarkable.At 18 hewent to Cambridge University to study math,then the u-niversity was closed because of the plague period.Newtonwent home for a period of 18 months: a most significantperiod, for during that time, when he was between theages of 22 and 24,he made his three great discoveries-differential calculus,the nature of white light,and the lawof gravity.The three discoveries changed the course of hu-man thought and have influenced the course  相似文献   

10.
Kevin Spacey was born in New Jersey on July 26th, 1959. The family moved to Southern California and the boisterous (狂暴喧闹的) Spacey found himself sent off to a military academy. When that school couldn' t tame him, he moved on to Chatsworth High School, where he met other future actors Mare Winningham and Val Kilmer.In 1984, he found himself understudying (练习做临时演员) all the male roles in Hurlyburly. Director Mike Nichols was so impressed by his versatility (多才多艺) that he made sure he had a chance to play all of the roles during the run. After that he managed to land the lead role of National Anthems after Al Pacino dropped out and in 1986 starred opposite Jack Lemmon in the Broadway revival of Long Day' s Journey Into Night.Kevin made his film debut in 1986' s Heartburn and made  相似文献   

11.
斯科特医生     
Jim was in despair.Nothing was going right for him at the hospital.He had been strongly criticized.mainly for the mistake he made when called out to assist at a birth.He suspected that he was no longer trusted at the hospital and he decided to change his iob.As a result of reading an advertisement.he was able to arrange an in- terview with a doctor who was looking for a part- ner.The doctor.whose name was Scot,lived in Thorby,a small town in the North of England.  相似文献   

12.
No Trouble     
Mr Day was a teacher at a school in a bigcity in the north of England.He usually went toFrance or Germany for a few weeks during hissummer holidays,and he spoke French andGerman quite well. But one day Mr Day said to one of hisfriends,“I'm going to have a holiday in Athens  相似文献   

13.
阅读特训营     
Mario Capecchi: The man who changed our world The genetics research that won Mario Capecchi a share of this year's Nobel Prize for medicine may well help to define the science of the 21st century. But the man himself was marked, in extraordinary ways, by the turbulent(动荡的) history of the century before. Mr Capecchi's grandfather, a German archaeologist, was accidentally gunned down by his own men during the First World War. His father, an Italian aviator, was killed in the Second World War. He himself spent that war poor in northern Italy after his American mother was arrested and sent to the Dachau concentration camp-a survival tale all the more remarkable for the fact that he was just four years old when his mother was taken away. One might imagine, after a start like that, that he would develop into an artist-one thinks of Roman Polanski, who survived the Warsaw Ghetto-or a politician. Indeed, Mr Capecchi first intended to study political science when, at length, he got around to a university education. But with his quiet manner and clever mind, he rose to the top of his chosen field in the medical sciences.  相似文献   

14.
Jack was a very rich man. He had got a bag of gold from business, but he did not know where to keep it. He was afraid that thieves might 1 his house and steal it away. One day when it was time to go to bed, he put the gold bag beside his pillow (枕头) and tied the bag to his arm. But he was awake all night because he was worrying about the gold. Finally, he 2 to hide the bag of gold in a hole near a tall tree in his back garden.“But the people m ay still know that there s gold in t…  相似文献   

15.
幽默故事     
A Mr Leonard was twenty-three years old and very rich.He was not married and he lived in two rooms in a small house in a city.Every summer he went down to the sea for a holiday.He stayed in small,cheap hotels,but he always wanted to have a clean,tidy room.He hated dirty places. One summer a friend of his said,"Go to the Tower Hotel in Whitesea.I went there last year,and it was very nice and clean." So Mr Leonard went to the Tower Hotel in Whitesea.But there was a different manager that year.  相似文献   

16.
Beethoven     
Beethoven(贝多芬)was one of the greatest composers(作曲家)in the world. He was born in 1770 and died in 1827.Even as a child Beethoven did not have a happy life. His father was a singer. But he was lazy and always drank a lot. When the boy was only four,his father decided to make him a musician. So Beethoven had to play hour after hour on different musical instruments(乐器).He learned so fast that he was able to go around and give concerts when he was only 11. When he was 17,he won hi…  相似文献   

17.
STORIES     
Bruce got on the bus early in the morning. He was going to the next town to visit one of his friends. He had got up very early, and he felt tired. Soon he fell asleep. A short while later, he woke up in the middle of a dream. In his dream, he was in a busy street. People were pushing him hard and pulling at his clothes. As he woke up, he found that it wasn't only a dream.Somebody was really pulling at his coat pocket.  相似文献   

18.
READINGS     
An English student went to a city in the south of America to study there. He walked around the city to look for a warm room to live in. One evening, he was walking along the street with a map in his hand. He saw a small board (木板) in the window of a house, the word "Room" was on it. " What a nice room this is! " he said. " The windows are in the  相似文献   

19.
玉峰海 《中学生英语》2000,(3):18-18,31
Mr Lynch left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick E-mail. Unable to find the piece of paper on which he had written her E-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.  相似文献   

20.
水仙花     
Early in his childhood, as soon as he was able to speak, he was asked what kind of face he would like to have. They agreed when he said he' d like to have a blue face like his mother, who had hers from being born in the sea. Pith(抽去;杀死) from the claws of a certain bird furnished the dye, which he let the nurse wipe over his brow and cheeks. Soon his face was blue and stayed blue; and although no one said it to him, everyone thought he was a beautiful boy.  相似文献   

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